An Awkward Question
by Phoenix122333
Summary: Astrid, Snoutlout, Ruff, and Tuff have an awkward question for Hiccup... HiccupXhuman!Toothless (or maybe anthro!Toothless), yaoi. Very short, and probably only a twoshot
1. An Awkward Question

Hiccup was eating in the Mead Hall, poring over the Book of Dragons while Toothless slunk around stealing mutton for amusement, when Astrid slid into the space next to him with an innocent air. Seconds later Snotlout slid in on his other side, and then the twins sat down opposite. The entire thing took less than three seconds, and it gave Hiccup a distinctly 'run-away-now-and-don't-look-back' vibe.

"Hey guys. Something I can do for ya?", he asked nervously, and Snotlout, never one to beat around the bush, asked quite bluntly, "We wanna know who tops between you and Toothless.".

Hiccup's entire upper body spasmed, sending his head slamming down onto the tabletop before he reeled back in pain. "Yeah, c'mon Hiccup! Are you the rider...or the dragon?", Astrid asked mischievously, prodding his cheek in an effort to garner his attention. "Doesn't matter either way, we're just curious.", Tuffnut promised, but Ruffnut put out, "Well, it might matter if one of us ever learns how to make some of that pain-killing salve, but other than that...".

"Pfff, wha...why do you need to know? And why do you expect me to answer?!", Hiccup demanded, his face flushing as red as the mark on his forehead.

"We have a bet going on.", Snotlout said, again very bluntly, and Hiccup dropped his head into his hands. "Of course you do.", his muffled voice said, and a moment later he straightened up and asked irritably, "Why can't you just ask Toothless?". "Two of the reasons are very sharp and the last is almost as hot as Astrid.", Snotlout explained.

"Wait, so you don't think I can be as dangerous as a dragon?!", Hiccup demanded incredulously, and Astrid raised an eyebrow before saying gently, "Hiccup? Hate to break it to you, but you're not exactly the…biggest tree in the forest.".

"You really had to use _that _metaphor?", Hiccup deadpanned as Ruff and Tuff started on a rousing rendition of, "Twig, twig, Hiccup's a twig! He's really tiny, he's the opposite of big!". Not very catchy, but it was a miracle it rhymed, really. They got to the end…and then they started singing it again.

It was unlikely they'd stop.

"Oops. I forgot about that.", Astrid apologized sheepishly, and Hiccup muttered, "Lucky you.". Then he yawned and said, "Well, that's my cue to head to bed. Later guys!". He got up and headed out of the Mead Hall, breaking into a sprint as soon as they couldn't see him anymore.

"…Didn't we have to ask him something?", Snotlout asked Astrid quizzically, and a second later they both smacked themselves on the forehead as Ruff and Tuff continued in the background.


	2. An Anticipated Answer

**To the Guest that commented, "Hey phoenix: FUCK YOU!", I'd like to say that names are always capitalized in writing. Honestly, if you're going to swear at somebody, at least do it correctly.**

"Woah there, Fleet-Footed Flynn! Where's the fire and can I make it bigger?", Toothless asked as he swooped into a landing beside a panting Hiccup. The poor boy hadn't gotten very far before his inferior excercise habits had caught up with him, and he was currently leaning against a house gasping for breath.

"Twins...Astrid...Snotlout...wanna know...who tops...", Hiccup managed to get out, and Toothless managed to only twitch once before dissolving into peals of draconic laughter. Now they were both using the house as a support, and the unsteady thing groaned alarmingly.

Vikings were good at killing. Architecture? ...Meh.

"You wouldn't...think it was that funny...if they cornered _you_.", Hiccup pointed out hotly, straightening up as his breath returned to him. Toothless was still too far gone for such complicated things, finally just collapsing on the ground and rolling around slightly. Hiccup gave him a deadpan glare, then turned and began to walk away.

"Or maybe you would.", he called over his shoulder as Toothless began to calm down. E got to his feet quickly and jogged to catch up with his boyfriend, saying placatingly, "Oh, c'mon Hic! You have to admit that it was a _little _funny!".

Hiccup stopped and raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms and staring at Toothless dubiously. Toothless merely crossed his eyes, stuck his tongue out, and held his hands up with his fingers splayed.

First, it was only a few 'snrk's. Then a few more slipped out, and then Hiccup was laughing alongside Toothless, rider and dragon leaning on each other as they staggered toward Hiccup's house.

It took much longer for them both to calm down; every time they'd get quiet, they'd glance at each other and start back up again. So it wasn't until they were both lying on Hiccup's bed, Hiccup reading and Toothless playing with a loose thread on the brunette's shirt, that Toothless wondered, "Why don't you just _tell_ them?".

Hiccup let a devilish smirk cross his face, the hand that had been rubbing relaxing circles into Toothless' back pressing just a tad firmer. "They'd never believe me.", he purred as the book was thrown carelessly to the side. Toothless shivered in anticipation.


End file.
